Party Privilege: Silence

As O’Brien passed the telescreen a thought seemed to strike him. He stopped, turned aside and pressed a switch on the wall. There was a sharp snap. The voice had stopped.

Julia uttered a tiny sound, a sort of squeak of surprise. Even in the midst of his panic, Winston was too much taken aback to be able to hold his tongue.

‘You can turn it off!’ he said.

‘Yes,’ said O’Brien, ‘we can turn it off. We have that privilege.’

He was opposite them now. His solid form towered over the pair of them, and the expression on his face was still indecipherable. He was waiting, somewhat sternly, for Winston to speak, but about what? Even now it was quite conceivable that he was simply a busy man wondering irritably why he had been interrupted. Nobody spoke. After the stopping of the telescreen the room seemed deadly silent. The seconds marched past, enormous. With difficulty Winston continued to keep his eyes fixed on O’Brien’s. Then suddenly the grim face broke down into what might have been the beginnings of a smile. With his characteristic gesture O’Brien resettled his spectacles on his nose.

‘Shall I say it, or will you?’ he said.

‘I will say it,’ said Winston promptly. ‘That thing is really turned off?’

‘Yes, everything is turned off. We are alone.’

‘We have come here because-‘

Snippet from “Nineteen Eighty-Four”, by George Orwell

This section — where O’Brien, a member of the Inner Party, is able to turn off the everpresent telescreen in his office for a period of time — hammers something home to me. It’s a thought experiment that gives me nightmares.

Now that handheld and desktop operating systems feature a “Do Not Disturb” button, with optional timeouts, and now that operating systems are being increasingly mandated by law to know who is using it, it becomes obvious, avoidably inevitable, that at some point there will become classes of users who are able to turn off notifications, and classes of users for whom notifications are always present, always disruptive.

Are you in the Inner Party? You and I will never be in the Inner Party. If we’re lucky, we’ll be in the Outer Party, functionaries for the order. Or if we’re really lucky, we’ll be of the proles, oblivious to our lot.

It’s our job, at this critical point, to wrest the controls at the root, inside the OS. Learn which packages to uninstall. Learn which to deconfigure. Find how to redirect the stream of disruptive bullshit. To turn our tech into something that is unable to harm us.

Find the switch. Turn it off.

Unmensch

When I meet a woman who seems interesting enough that I’d maybe like to pursue a relationship with, the first thing I do is shoot myself in the foot and completely disavow her of any notion that I might actually be a man. Can’t have her believing any of that nonsense.

Of course, sabotaging myself and walking away is probably the most man-like thing I could do.

26 Great Hits

$ whois phaysis.com
Domain Name: PHAYSIS.COM
Creation Date: 2000-04-14T14:49:59Z

26 years I’ve owned this domain. It really lives up to its tagline: “Phaysis.com. A Frozen State of Change” (alternately: “Like Watching Grass Grow”). This has been my home for most of my adult life. So much potential, so little change. Like my real life.

“So what’re you dressed as?”
“A Gifted & Talented kid.”
“OK, uh. What’re you supposed to be?
“I was supposed to be anything!

This site’s ossified on using WordPress because I can’t be bothered to waste more of my life trying to build my own CMS (I burned my 30’s on that fool’s errand. Never again). And now that I’m in my fifty-mumbleth year, I’m too distracted and exhausted to bother trying. My life is more like this site: a frozen state of change. That’s an oxymoron, yeah man, right on, you’re smart, grab your tokens, go play skeeball, get your tickets for a keychain. Just roll with it.

Here’s to 26 more. If I’m fukken lucky.

“Stasis Impending Phases…Phases Impending Stasis”

Flailure

It’s been a minute since I bitched about my German 4 class. Y’all, I am failing so goddamn badly. Right now, I have a mid C, which I pulled out of F by turning in a single writing. But tomorrow, I have a chapter test and a chapter project due (a video review and writing). And 6 hours of chapter homework unfinished. I’m not gonna make it.

For my own sanity, I really should quit. Just stop. But I also have some sunk cost in this: 3 finished semesters with a B, and 2/3 of the way through this one. I don’t want to quit, but I also don’t want to absolutely hate myself and my performance or answer for my own failings. I’d rather just let it die naturally instead of killing it. Since this is just Continuing Education instead of school credit, it’s pass/no-pass. So I feel like a no-pass is better than a Did Not Finish.

Runners will tell you they’d rather come in last across the line as long as they cross it.

I feel the emotional, mental, and physical burn of knowing that my skills are regressing, but that I have to keep going. Have to. One chapter left. Please, no DNF.

Plus One

Age is just a number, they say. Mine just autoincremented. Now it’s bigger. And that makes me sad for some reason.

Project Left the Fuck Alone is currently under way. “No expectations” is the best gift I can get. No making a big deal. No ruined surprises. No special treatment. And that’s how I like it.

And the conveyor belt keeps rolling.