I think of all the greatness that will never be, because the urge to create is so easily satisfied. A thought at the kitchen sink can be hastily reworded into a funny quip and crossposted onto the timeline, half-baked, incomplete, a good laugh, and then it’s gone.
All the Buckowskis of the world never to be born fully formed with fire and intensity. All the Kerouacs sated and deflated, long before they can craft an idea into a journey.
I write less, because I blather more.
We need time to mull over ideas, give them flesh, pass them along to the other puppeteers in the chain, get them onboard. Then we make dragons.
On the same day, I learn that glitterkitten.uk and toot.community will soon be shutting down operations, for legitimate reasons. It feels, to me, like a dark day for the #fediverse, but really it’s an example of how human systems change and evolve. I shouldn’t be so despondent. Change is part of the recipe, eh? This fledgling network will survive. We have juice.
This year I discovered that my allergy to Aspirin and its derivatives is absolute bollocks. I’ve been carrying this belief since my asthmatic childhood, spawned by doctors asking my mother about a list of known triggers in my environment. We’ve heard that everything from Aspirin to pets to feather pillows could trigger asthma attacks. So, naturally, I had limited exposure to any of those throughout my life.
I’ve told every medical provider that I’m allergic to the ol’ ASA for this reason. But last year I took a trip to the ER where as part of the protocol they gave me two baby Aspirin — nothing worse happened! I was fine!
What I’ve learned in hindsight is that the primary agonist to my childhood asthma was the incessant indoor smoking by the adults in my life. Did I age out of my adolescent asthma, or did I just move away and live smoke-free?
PARENT [puffing a cigarette]: Doctor, why does junior have asthma? DOCTOR [lighting a cigarette]: Ma’am, we’re not too sure. It is a medical mystery. Oh, here, please use this ashtray.
So what this all means is that, as of now, I can take Ibuprofen and Aspirin. Hell, I can probably even sleep on a feather pillow with a down comforter and be alright. Which is great because with my age also comes aches and inflammation; access to NSAIDs is a godsend. And, of course, down is comfy.
Tonight, at the cafe and the bar, I posted a handful of W’s. I find my role in this world to be similar to Tyrion Lannister in GOT, in that my job in this society is that I drink and I know things. My purpose, generally, is to be a talk show host and to guide the conversation into good times, to elevate it into something better. I feel that. I found myself passing along info to several people, asking good questions, and steering the convo in group chat to something better.
Sure, sometimes I feel like I’m a useful idiot, but at least I’m useful. That’s something.
Really, though, if I can be a matador waving the red cape at a herd of bulls hell-bent on turning the arena into a down-mouthed amphitheater for solipsism, reigning them in and improving the group vibe, then I feel like I’ve made the world a better place, even if it’s on the micro level. Fine by me. ¡Olé!
Austin, Texas. 26 YEARS. It’s a minor anniversary, but I have to celebrate something, right?
Taking the day off. Slept in (set alarm for 10). Went to The Omelettry for breakfast, because it’s been forever and I can’t stand weekend brunch crowds. It’s still funky, and I recognize some of the crayon egg drawings pinned to the walls, yellowed by the years. Wow. Weekday staff isn’t as frantic, but they’re friendly. The house special omelet and gingerbread pancakes sent me and my blood sugar to heaven. Best decision.
The Omelettry counter, with crayon drawings pinned to the walls.House Special Omelet with Gingerbread short stack pancakes, coffee, water, and a journal, on a floral table.
Trying to do things that are “Uniquely Austin” today, simply because I’ve been here this long and haven’t gone to these places ever or in a very long time. It’s hard to feel out a plan while I’m in it, and most of these places are out of the running because, y’all, have you seen the temperature today? It’s fukken hot out. I’m too out of shape for it to be this hot.
Back garden at Mayfield Park. Stone paths through trees, ponds, and gardens.
Went to Mayfield Park, because I’ve never been there. Go past it all the time when I drive up Mount Bonnell and have never stopped. The old homestead is beautiful, and is surrounded by a stone fence. Inside is the big house, a few out-buildings, garage, a stone tower which, the gardener informed me, was where they kept carrier pigeons for communication. The rest of the space is an amazing garden, a set of stone koi ponds, and a native flock of pea-fowl (woah, peacocks!). The property outside the fence is 23 acres of trails between Camp Mabry and Laguna Gloria on the river. I should come back in October and take a hike.
Sun hiding behind a live oak branch, a twisting map of untaken futures.
I left when my body complained about the heat and went home to chill.
Drove a circuitous path out past West Lake to the strip mall on the side of FM 2244 where my first dotcom did business. On the far end opposite the gas station was the main office; my office space was in the basement immediately below, down the hall from our callcenter. It gives me great satisfaction to see the old office, where I was fired, has become a Double Dave’s Pizza. I don’t think it lasted more than a few years after the dotcom bust. Fine, that.
But at least that job was useful to me, in that it got me here long enough to plant my roots.
Pizza Not Com
So now I’m at Epoch (uniquely Austin, but I’m here all the time…) having an Americano, thinking about what to do tonight.
Alamo Drafthouse Village? That’s the first franchise location. Original Alamo is long gone. That’s a possibility. Haven’t seen a theater movie since before the pando. But now that Drafthouse is owned by Sony, can we really say it’s “uniquely Austin”? I’m not so sure.
I’ll figure it out.
This has been a weird, normal, hopeful, hopeless, exciting, boring ride. 26 years. I still need to take more advantage of what Austin has to offer, because lord knows Austin has taken advantage of me.
